Dear Mommy,
I know it's only been 3 days since you've been gone, but I miss you so much. I see daddy crying all the time and I don't know how to comfort him. Neither of us has had any dreams of you yet. I know you promised us that you would come back to visit and I trust that you will keep your promise. I tell daddy that you just arrived in heaven and probably still need orientation to your new home.
I often feel like I want to cry too, but no tears are coming out. I felt like I cried more when Rosie died than I am now, which sounds terrible. I don't know if it's because of the antidepressants that I'm taking, or the two kids keeping me busy but I feel emotionally numb. Maybe that was what you were feeling too?
Many times you told me that you were upset. Upset because every time you woke up, you were still "here". Still alive. When I told people, they assumed that you were in pain. I told them no because pain has never really been an issue for you. But I knew you were suffering in different ways.
A few days after you moved on, I had this feeling of peace. Can't explain this feeling. Is it because you got what you wished for and that you are no longer suffering? I wish I can see you soon in my dreams. I often feel that you are still present with me.
A few days after you moved on, I had this feeling of peace. Can't explain this feeling. Is it because you got what you wished for and that you are no longer suffering? I wish I can see you soon in my dreams. I often feel that you are still present with me.
Did you make it to heaven yet? Did you find Gong Gong? Have you met God?
I miss you....
Love,
Juli